The days when the bride's parents automatically paid for and hosted her wedding are long gone. These days it is not at all uncommon for the bride and groom to host their own wedding. With this decision comes a lot of freedom and also a lot of questions. These helpful tips for couples who are paying for their own wedding will give you the answers you need.
One of the first questions which arises when a couple is playing host to their own wedding is how to word the invitations. While there is certainly nothing wrong with using the traditional format with the bride's parents' names at the top, the most proper way is to list no host names. So the wording would be: "The pleasure of your company / is requested / at the marriage of / Miss Cynthia Jane Riley / to / Mr. Todd James Richards, etc.". If the bride has been previously married, it is best to omit the titles before the bride and groom's names. This is because she is no longer a Miss, Ms. is not technically correct to use on a formal social invitation, and listing the bride-to-be as Mrs. would just plain be weird. One of the really nice things about this third person wedding invitation format is that it eliminates the complications of blended families, remarried parents, and all the drama that can arise from figuring out how to list everyone on the invitation.
Another key bit of wedding planning advice for the couple who is hosting their own wedding is not to solicit opinions if you do not want to hear the answers. A lot of brides relish the freedom that comes with planning their own wedding without their mother holding the pursestrings and therefore the control. While it is certainly sweet to include your mom in your wedding in some way, do not ask for her opinion on the flowers, your wedding dress, the bridesmaid jewelry, and the wedding band if you think you won't like her answers. You are not really doing her a service to ask for her opinion if you know that you are likely to go a different route anyway. Enjoy the freedom that comes with paying your own way, and don't sabotage it by setting yourself up for conflict with your mother
Sometimes brides wonder if certain wedding customs are appropriate to include when they are hosting their own wedding. For instance, is it still okay for the father of the bride to escort her down the aisle and "give her away" when he is not hosting the event? Absolutely If you want to walk with your dad, you should. And if you prefer to walk alone or even arm-in-arm with your fiance, that is your prerogative too. As for the father-daughter dance at the reception, by all means keep that charming custom. No matter who is buying the bouquets and bridal jewelry, he is still your dad, after all.
A really terrific piece of wedding planning advice for those who plan to host their own wedding is to create a budget and stick with it. When you are paying your own way, you have to be the one with the self-restraint to resist splurging on things you cannot afford. This can be hard when you don't have to seek approval for every expenditure, as you would if your parents were paying the bills. Before you book anything or buy anything, you and your fiance should sit down at the computer and make a spreadsheet to plan for and track your wedding expenses. It is a wonderful feeling to host your own wedding without going into debt or having to beg your family for money at the last minute. If you have the wedding which reflects your personal taste, it is sure to be beautiful, whatever your budget.
