I had asked my cousin to be my matron of honor at my wedding in July along with asking my best friend to be maid of honor, my maid of honor has been awesome helping me pick out dressess having a fun weekend etc.however, my cousin has always been to busy she does have a four year old but i feel that she has made no effort to be a part of this weeding. She recently just told me that she can not make it to my shower because the drive would bee too long for her and she would be too tired the thing is she only lives about 4 hours away. I don't know what to do especially since she is family. I still want her to be at the wedding but I don't know if I want her to be my matron of honor.* Please note that she does not work *Time to employ the "It's not you, it's me" approach.Tell her that you really feel badly about the demands that being Matron of Honor put on her. You know that you've been asking her to contribute time that she doesn't have, and you know she must feel terrible about not being able to help out more or go to the shower or anything. Tell her that you want her to be able to really enjoy your wedding - and that you think she'll probably be able to breathe a little easier if she didn't have to get a special dress and have it altered and have to show up early for pictures, etc. **Don't let her argue or get a word in edgewise while you say this.**Then finally, before she has a chance to say anything, tell her that you have decided to just have the one maid of honor at the wedding and that you are certain she will be able to enjoy herself a lot more easily at the wedding this way, since she can sneak out early if she has to, and she can sit with her child. Tell her that you really appreciate her agreeing to be matron of honor, but that really, you don't want another moment of guilt and absolutely won't hear a word of refusal at being let off the hook.good luck
